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Punctuality is something like a virtue. It respects other people’s time, demonstrates reliability, and requires integrity and discipline. Given that it’s virtue-adjacent, it can seem like the more stringent the practice of punctuality, the better, and so you get maxims like: “Early is on time; on time is late.”

However, there are situations when being late is entirely acceptable, and even desirable. There are even conditions where being late is actually more polite than being on time. We’ll run through these exceptions to the always-be-punctual rule below.

Date (With At-Home Pick-Up)

If you’re meeting a date at a restaurant or coffee shop, you want to be on time, and maybe even a few minutes early to get yourself settled and establish your poise. Especially on a first date, you want to make a good impression, and rolling in late decidedly does not.

But if you’re picking a date up from her house/apartment (more likely to be the case if you knew her already or are in high school/college), then it’s actually nice to arrive just a bit late. Getting there early is a definite no-no, lest you make your lady friend answer the door with curlers in her hair (do women still put curlers in their hair?), and as she’ll likely be getting ready right up until the time you knock, getting there late provides her a bit of buffer to complete this process. Even if she’s ready on time, she won’t mind having the chance to give herself one last look in the mirror. So get there just a few minutes late — no more than five, lest she begin to worry you’ve stood her up.

Restaurant Reservation

Restaurants will typically hold your reservation for 15 minutes after the scheduled time, so if you’re running a little late, you don’t have to panic. (If you’re going to be more than 15 minutes late, give them a call to let them know.) Restaurants don’t always have your table ready exactly at your reservation time anyway, so if you arrive five minutes late, there’s a better chance you’ll be seated straight away.

Of course, you also want to be respectful of the restaurant’s staff and its other customers; if you’re late, then your dining time may run long, which means your table won’t be ready at the reservation time held by its subsequent occupants. Nice restaurants typically allot two hours of dining time per reservation, so just make sure you don’t exceed that, timed from when your original reservation began (e.g., if your reservation was at 6:00, and you showed up at 6:10, still depart by 8:00).

Music Concert

If you’re going to a nice show in a seated theater — a ballet, play, musical, orchestral performance — you should show up early. Find your seat; get settled in; read through the program. The doors close once the show starts (you’ll often have to wait until a break/intermission to be let in), and you don’t want to disturb the experience of others by being the guy who has to be shown to his row with a flashlight-wielding usher and climb over fellow audience members to get to his seat.

There’s an entirely different equation when it comes to “popular,” non-high-brow music concerts. If you’re going to see your favorite band in the world, it’s a general admission show (sans assigned seating), and you want to be as close to the stage as possible, then you might want to arrive an hour (or many hours, depending on the band’s popularity) before the doors open. But in most cases, positioning yourself close to the stage is pretty overrated (especially as you get older), given that the area is hot, crowded, cramped, sweaty, and, depending on the genre of music being played, liable to turn into a mosh pit.

If you’re not interested in getting close to the stage, nor in hearing the opening act, then it’s best to show up late to a concert.

There’s no set, hard-and-fast schedule as to when a headliner will take the stage. On average though, the opening band will start playing 30-60 minutes after the doors open, and play for around 30-45 minutes, after which comes the transition time in which the stage is set up for the headliner. The headliner will thus start playing around two+ hours after the doors open. Here’s an example of how this could go: doors open at 6:30; opening band starts playing at 7:30; headliner begins show at 9:00. To strike a balance between minimizing your wait-around, stand-around time, and minimizing the risk of missing any of the headliner’s show, aim to arrive around an hour and a half after the doors open.

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Sunday Firesides. Sometimes the Critic Counts



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“It is not the critic who counts.”

If this line from Theodore Roosevelt’s famous “Man in the Arena” speech is taken to mean that the individual who takes action has far greater worth than he who merely casts stones from the sidelines, then it can be adopted as an unassailable truth.

If, however, it’s taken to mean you should never listen to your critics, then it’s a mantra that cannot be universally applied.

T.R., after all, was a critic himself, and when he called individuals “fragrant man swine,” “little emasculated masses of inanity,” and “beings who belong to the cult of non-virility” — you can bet he wanted to be listened to (and probably should have been).

While adopting a blanket “f**k the haters” mindset may anesthetize the pain of receiving negative feedback, it comes at the cost of two key things:

First, you surrender a potentially helpful perspective.

We’d all do well to heed our inner voice and scorecard over that of the crowd. But we can lose track of that voice or allow ego to convince us we’re doing a better job than we are, and it can take an external observer to point that out.

Second, you forfeit — at least if you apply the “never listen to critics” standard with integrity/consistency — the right to be heard yourself.

Because if people shouldn’t listen to anyone else’s opinions, they shouldn’t listen to yours, either.

Little credit belongs to the masses of heckling, grandstand-riding spectators, who nine times out of ten, have nothing valuable to say. But to avoid developing what Teddy called “a mind that functions at six guinea-pig power,” it’s wise to recognize that sometimes the critic can count: when he’s someone you respect; when he’s someone who also has skin in the game; when he’s someone who’s got, well, a point.

The post Sunday Firesides: Sometimes, the Critic Counts appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

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How to Diagnose and Treat Heat Stroke & Heat Exhaustion



heat boy

It’s been freaking hot around the world this summer. Here in Oklahoma we’ve had more than a dozen days in July alone with temperatures over 100 degrees. 

The chances of suffering a heat-related illness like heat exhaustion and heat stroke go up during extreme heat. According to the CDC, between 2004 and 2018, an average of 702 people died annually from heat-related causes, and thousands more ended up in the hospital. Small children and adults over 65 are most susceptible to heat-related illness. However, it can hit anyone who works or exercises vigorously in the heat. In fact, heat stroke is one of the three most common killers of soldiers and athletes in training. 

Below we share how to recognize heat exhaustion and heat stroke and what to do to treat both conditions. 

How to Recognize & Treat Heat Exhaustion 

Heat Exhaustion Symptoms

Heat exhaustion occurs when your body can no longer cool itself down through sweating due to a loss of water and electrolytes. Heat exhaustion needs to be treated as soon as you recognize it in yourself or others. Left untreated, it can develop into its more severe sibling: heat stroke.

Symptoms of heat exhaustion include: 

Heavy sweatingCold, pale, and clammy skinFast, weak pulseNausea or vomitingMuscle crampsTiredness or weaknessDizzinessHeadacheBrief fainting (passing out)

How to Treat Heat Exhaustion

The goal of treating heat exhaustion is to cool the sufferer down and restore their fluids.

Move to a cool room. If you don’t have access to an air-conditioned room, at least move to a shady spot.Take a cold shower or bath. If that’s not possible, drape (do not tightly wrap — this will trap heat) cool, wet towels/cloths on the body. Turn a fan on these towels if you can. Remove extra clothing.Sip cool fluids, like water and Gatorade.

If heat exhaustion symptoms continue for an hour despite your treatment, seek professional medical assistance.

How to Recognize & Treat Heat Exhaustion 

Heat Stroke Symptoms

Heat stroke is the most serious of heat-related illnesses. With heat stroke, the body has lost its ability to cool itself down, resulting in a dangerously high internal body temperature (above 104 degrees Fahrenheit). High internal body temperature is potentially life-threatening as it can cause seizures, organ failure, and rhabdomyolysis. Even if you recover from heat stroke, you can still suffer long-term damage to your heart, brain (creating cognitive deficiencies), kidneys (requiring lifelong dialysis or a transplant), and liver (also requiring a transplant). Heat stroke victims often die months after they’ve “recovered.”

To guide me on the intricacies of identifying and treating heat stroke, I talked to Dr. Sean Langan, a research assistant at the Korey Stringer Institute at the University of Connecticut. The Korey Stringer Institute specializes in research in preventing heat stroke deaths among athletes. 

Heat stroke symptoms include: 

Central nervous system (CNS) dysfunction:ConfusionAggression/agitation (Dr. Langan says you frequently see heat stroke victims bite and punch people)DizzinessFaintingSeizuresVery high body temperature (104 degrees F or higher)Red, hot, dry skin (no sweating). Sean notes that you rarely see dry skin in people with exertional heat stroke (caused by exercising or working in the heat). Those exerting themselves in the heat may still be sweaty, and you’ll need to be on the lookout for other symptoms, particularly CNS dysfunction.Throbbing headacheNausea/vomitingRapid breathingRapid pulse

According to Dr. Langan, the critical heat stroke symptom to be on the lookout for is CNS dysfunction:

You can have really fit people who have an internal body temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit at the end of a marathon who are fine. Their body is adapted to having that high of an internal temp so they don’t have any CNS dysfunction and they cool down quickly after they finish their race. 

You can also have someone who has an internal body temperature of 103, but they’re experiencing CNS dysfunction. This person has heat stroke and needs to be treated. 

If you see someone who’s been in the heat who’s showing signs of CNS dysfunction, your best bet is to start treating that person for heat stroke. To confirm, take their temperature with a rectal thermometer (it will give you the most accurate reading)

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Podcast #678 Physical Benchmarks Every man should meet at every age



As men, we all want to be physically capable. We want to be able to save our own life in two ways: in the more metaphorical sense of wanting to preserve it in healthy, fit form for as long as possible, and in the more literal sense of being able to make it through an emergency unscathed. How do you know if you do possess that kind of lifesaving physical capability?

It’s time to do more than wonder, and really check in with yourself. My guest today has some helpful benchmarks that guys from age 8 to 80 can use to see if they’ve got an operative level of strength, mobility, and conditioning. His name is Dan John, and he’s a strength coach and the author of numerous books and articles on health and fitness. Dan walks us through the fitness standards the average male should be able to meet from childhood to old age, beginning with the assessments he gives to those who are 55 years old and older, which includes carrying their body weight, a long jump, and something called “the toilet test.” We then reach back to childhood, and Dan discusses the physical skills kids should become adept in, which were inspired by a turn-of-the-20th-century physical culturist who thought every individual ought to be able to save his own life, and which can be broken down into the categories of pursuit, escape, and attack. We end our conversation with the physical standards those in the 18-55 range should be able to meet, including how much a man should be able to bench press, squat, and deadlift, and the walking test that’s an excellent assessment of your cardiovascular conditioning.

My first and second interview with Dan“10 Things Every Lifter Should Be Able to Do”AoM Article: Don’t Just Lift Heavy, Carry HeavyAoM Article: Take the Simple Test That Can Predict Your MortalityAoM Article: The 10 Physical Skills Every Man Should MasterAoM Podcast #663: How to Achieve Physical AutonomyAoM Article: The History of Physical FitnessAoM Article: Every Man Should Be Able to Save His Own LifeAoM Article: 12 Balance Exercises You Can Do on a 2×4Shaker PlateAoM Podcast #508: Break Out of Your Cage and Stop Being a Human Zoo Animal

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Brett McKay: Brett McKay here, and welcome to another edition of The Art of Manliness podcast. As men, we all want to be physically capable. We wanna be able to save our life in two ways. First in the more metaphorical sense of wanting to preserve it in a healthy fit form for as long as possible. And second, in the more literal sense of being able to make it through an emergency unscathed. How do you know if you possess that kind of life-saving physical capability?

Well, it’s time to do more than wonder and really check in with yourself, and my guest today has some helpful benchmarks that guys from ages eight to 80 can use to see if they’ve got an operative level of strength, mobility, and conditioning. His name is Dan John. He’s a strength coach and the author of numerous books and articles on health and fitness.

Today on the show, Dan walks us through the fitness standards the average male should be able to meet

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