Connect with us

Vintage couple hugging on park bench near lake somber.

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in February 2013.

Expect a rollercoaster ride.

That’s all I can say. Climb into the car near the front of the rows, buckle your seatbelt, then grip the chrome handle in front of you. Clack. Clack. Clack. The car is nearing the top of the first high hill now. Get ready to raise your hands and scream.

The first time we were pregnant was 10 years ago. The very same day we first announced the pregnancy to friends, my wife, Mary, began to bleed. What a day of highs and lows it was. That morning, people were so happy for us, then that afternoon we stood at the front counter of an emergency room, our faces ashen. Mustering the lowest, most-controlled voice I possess, I said to the receptionist one short sentence I will remember forever: “I think my wife is having a miscarriage.”

It’s an odd thing about miscarriages. They just happen. Sometimes there’s an underlying cause that can be addressed, but often there’s virtually nothing that anybody—no medical doctor, minister, or magician—can do to prevent them. They occur in about 1 in every 5 pregnancies. Doctors will tell you that it’s the body’s way of cleansing something that wasn’t meant to be. There’s no rhyme, nor reason. Just mystery, and vagueness. Something to wonder about, but not understand.

Yet each one is heartrending. And a man finds himself in a unique spot. He’s often the silent sufferer, the one called upon to support and encourage and comfort. Yet inside he’s as equally torn up as his spouse or girlfriend, as unsure of what to do next, as grief-filled, discouraged, and aching. How can a man navigate this difficult season?

Mary and I spent four hours in the examination room. Mary lay on a gurney. I sat on a chair beside her. Doctors and nurses came by to draw blood, ask questions, write on forms, look, probe, touch, and talk. During those hours there were uninterrupted spells of quiet. Mary and I sometimes looked at each other, but it was hard to talk. We were sure we lost. There was just too much blood.

We learned a lot during that trip to the E.R. Normal gestation is about 40 weeks, which we already knew, but, technically, if the pregnancy ends prematurely, it’s called an “early pregnancy loss” up to about week 6, a “miscarriage” up to about week 20, a “stillbirth” up to about week 37, and a “premature birth” from then on (it’s called a birth even if the child dies). This was week 10 for us.

Toward the end of our stay, the doctor scheduled an ultrasound. I have often wondered why he didn’t do this first. I surmise he was convinced the situation was hopeless. But finally he did. Mary and I were emotionally pushed over the edge by then, completely exhausted, and anticipating a slew of sad phone calls to family and friends.

The ultrasound room was warm and dark and quiet. Then, to our complete surprise, the doctor cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to tell you, but there’s some other unknown reason for all the blood today.” He pointed to the monitor and grinned. “Because there’s your baby’s heartbeat. Strong and healthy. Your child is still alive.”

I will never be able to describe it. I could write until I run out of words, but I will never convey the emotion of hearing those startling and wonderful words. This is a rollercoaster experience, remember, this process of having children. Sometimes it’s best to just hang on for the wild ride.

We named that child Addy. Today she’s in fourth grade. Loves drawing and Barbies and reading. Just last night she sidled up to me on the couch and gave me a mischievous wink. “Dad—” she said, “what’s a horse’s favorite thing to put on his sandwich?”

I shrugged.

“Neigh-o-nnaise.”She whinnied like a horse, grinned big teeth, and added in her best Las Vegas comedian voice, “You’ve been a wonderful crowd. I’ll be playing here all week.”

That was our first pregnancy, the one where we nearly lost Addy. To me, that put all future pregnancies into perspective: it’s such a fragile thing to have a child. And when you see your child growing up, you can more easily imagine your other children, the children you’ve lost. Stay with me here, because there are huge highs and huge lows, like I mentioned, and it certainly hasn’t been all after-dinner jokes for our family.

A year and a half after Addy was born, my wife became pregnant again. This time, again, she started to bleed. We anticipated the worst.

Trending Stories

4 Ways to Remove a Broken Light Bulb From a Socket

When the glass bulb breaks on incandescent bulbs, it can be difficult to remove them from the socket. With a little ingenuity you can solve this problem.

You might ask, “Why should I know how to remove a broken incandescent bulb when they’ve been phased out?” The U.S. did ban incandescent lights last year to encourage people to switch to LED bulbs. These are usually made of plastic, and do not break like the thin glass incandescents. There are still two reasons to be able to remove a broken bulb. You probably still use incandescent light bulbs around the house. You’ll need to know what to do if they ever break. Incandescent light bulbs used to illuminate your home’s rooms are now banned. However, bulbs for bug lamps and appliances that use incandescent lights remain legal. Even in the age LED bulbs, you may still need to replace a broken bulb.

We have shown you four different methods to remove a broken light bulb. Be sure to turn off the electricity before you try any of these methods. You don’t need to electrocute yourself. Put on heavy duty work gloves, and remove any remaining glass shards from the bulb to avoid cutting yourself. As you remove the bulb, keep your gloves on.

Support independent publishing. Donate to The Art of Manliness! Thank you for your support!

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/omega-swatch-mission-to-saturn-moonswatch/

Continue Reading

Trending Stories

Omega Swatch Mission To Saturn MoonSwatch

Omega Swatch Moonswatch Saturn Review

Many reviews have already been published across the web about each and every one of the Omega MoonSwatch watches. However, having recently started building my collection of these unique timepieces, I still wanted to cover the ones I’ve purchased here on Bespoke Unit.

Accordingly, in this article, I’ll be covering the MoonSwatch Mission To Saturn relatively briefly and will allow the images I’ve taken to do most of the talking.

Below, I’ll also show the latest aftermarket band that I’ve purchased for this Mission To Saturn MoonSwatch. It’s made wearing the watch a lot more comfortable, and I am very satisfied with the comfort that this strap provides.

Before that, let’s take a look at the specifications of the Mission to Saturn, which are exactly the same as the Mission On Earth I recently covered except for the obvious differences in the color scheme and strap tone.

Omega Swatch Moonswatch Saturn Review

Some of the product links in this article are eBay affiliate links, meaning if you buy something through them, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps support our site and allows us to continue making content for you. Thanks for your support!

.fusion-widget-area-1 {padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;}.fusion-widget-area-1 .widget h4 {color:#333333;}.fusion-widget-area-1 .widget .heading h4 {color:#333333;}.fusion-widget-area-1 .widget h4 {font-size:20px;}.fusion-widget-area-1 .widget .heading h4 {font-size:20px;}

Watch-Review-Banner

.fusion-widget-area-2 {padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;}.fusion-widget-area-2 .widget h4 {color:#333333;}.fusion-widget-area-2 .widget .heading h4 {color:#333333;}.fusion-widget-area-2 .widget h4 {font-size:20px;}.fusion-widget-area-2 .widget .heading h4 {font-size:20px;}

Watch-Review-Banner

MoonSwatch Mission To Saturn Specs

Reference: SO33T100Case Diameter: 42mmCase Material: BioceramicCrystal: PlasticWater Resistance: 30m / 3 bayDial Color: BeigeBracelet: Brown VelcroMovement: ETA G10. 212>Quartz, Battery-PoweredChronograph FunctionRetail Price: $270 [Shop on eBay]

Swatch describes the tone of the MoonSwatch Mission To Saturn bioceramic case as beige. However, I think it is a bit more grey than beige.

The dial is marked by brown subregisters and a depiction of Saturn & its rings. The bezel insert is presented in the same brown tone, which I find is an excellent pairing for the beige/gray bioceramic.

Mission To Saturn MoonSwatch Box External

Continue Reading

Trending Stories

Podcast #981: The Power of Everyday Rituals to Shape and Enhance Our Lives

listen apple podcasts 6 jpg

We tend to associate rituals with large, inherited ceremonies that are more frequent, such as church services, holidays and weddings. As my guest pointed out, we also have small, self made, everyday rituals which help us transform the mundane moments of life into meaningful ones.

In The Ritual effect: From habit to ritual, harness the surprising power of everyday actions, Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton examines how our DIY rituals enhance and shape our lives. On today’s episode, we take a look at the results of that survey. Michael explains how to distinguish between a habit or a ritual, and how families and individuals can create their own “rituals signatures”, even in more traditional rituals such as holidays. We talk about the many different aspects of our lives where rituals are present and what they can do for us. They help us deal with uncertainty, enjoy life and reconnect to the past. We discuss the role DIY rituals play in romantic relationships. From deepening intimacy to facilitating a breakup, we also explore the role “kinkeepers,” who keep families together.

Podcast Resources

AoM Series on Ritual PowerAoM Article: A Man’s Need for RitualAoM podcast #505 : A man’s need for ritualAoM podcast #835 : The power of ritual”Deja Vu”, by Olivia Rodrigo

Michael Norton: Connect with him

Michael’s Website — includes the “Habit or Ritual?” Quiz

Listen to the Podcast. Don’t forget to give us a review!


Apple Podcast.


Overcast.


Spotify.

Listen to the episode in a separate window.

This episode is available for download.

Subscribe to the podcast using the media player you prefer.

Podcast Sponsors

You can view our complete list of podcast sponsors by clicking here.

The Transcript is Coming Soon

Support independent publishing. Donate to The Art of Manliness! Thank you for your support!

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/the-japanese-3×3-interval-walking-workout/

Continue Reading

Trending