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This article originally appeared here: Men over 50 and the Silent Struggle with Depression

The life can be a whirlwind, full of luxury and opulence, with high fashion, exotic cuisine and travel. I have always loved this lifestyle and all the glamour it brings. In spite of the splendor I have noticed a disturbing trend: men older than fifty are suffering from depression. Money and luxury can’t fix the problems that my dear male friends face. It’s not just about career uncertainty or losing libido; this is a deep emotional battle that requires empathy and attention.

Hidden Struggles

A close friend confided to me recently about his depression. It was shocking. He was financially secure, and lived a life that most men would envy. Yet he felt an overwhelming sadness. I was shocked by his confession. It opened my eyes to an even bigger issue. My male friends over 50 are all experiencing the same struggles. They have a range of problems, from low sexual libido and career confusion to a feeling of despair.

These men should reconnect with their passions instead of immediately seeking medical attention. For example, one friend found comfort in a weekend filled with adventurous activities. He tried climbing, snowboarding and even a dirt-bike track. The dark cloud of depression lifted for a short time, even though he returned bruised and battered. Men can find temporary relief from their problems by engaging in physical activity or forming a camaraderie.

Career Confusion: The Quest for Purpose

A second friend expressed concern about his uncertain career path. He felt stuck at fifty and was unsure about his next step. Why should one’s age limit their potential? Passion can be profitable at any age. Men should be encouraged to discover new opportunities and interests. It is no longer true that a career should be established before midlife. Men can pursue their dreams, and even find new paths to achieve success.

Social Media Chains: Breaking them is a Must

Social media is one of the biggest contributors to depression. Platforms such as Twitter (or X) can spread negativity and make unrealistic comparisons. Men should engage in positive activities instead of scrolling through depressing posts. Mental health can be improved by reading uplifting books, having stimulating conversations and avoiding toxic individuals.

Empathy and action: A Call to Action

Men over 50 are often dismissed for depression, as it is a part of growing older or a midlife crises. It’s much more serious than this. We must take their struggle seriously and provide support. Encourage them to seek professional help and foster supportive friendships.

Live with Passion and Purpose

Living with passion and purpose is what life after 50 should be all about. We, my friends, who live an opulent life, understand that happiness is found within. The latest designer clothes and the most luxurious holidays are not the key to happiness. It is about finding joy every day and supporting one another through life’s challenges.

The road to recovery for men who are suffering from depression can be a long one. With the right support, and a change in perspective they can find their path back to happiness. Encourage them to rediscover passions, create strong support networks and stay away toxic social media influences.

Find joy in simple things

Luxury and opulence only take you so far. The simple things bring us the most joy – a meaningful conversation, a nature walk, or a new hobby. This is something that men over 50 need to be reminded about. Men over fifty need to be reminded of this.

The role of women in supporting men

We have an important role as women. We can be empathetic, encouraging, and unwavering supporters. We can show our male family members, friends, and partners that depression is not weakness, but rather a cry for help. Together, we can help create an environment that encourages men to seek out and express their feelings.

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Sunday Firesides: Are You a Benefit or a Burden?

Some people are naturally attracted to others. Everyone wants to be with them, their friend, and have them as part of their team.

Some people are not very successful in forming and maintaining relationships. They are often rejected when they make an attempt to connect, and don’t understand why.

We tend to think that relationships are formed based on ineffable and mysterious chemistry.

There’s a lot at play.

At their core, people’s decisions about who to hang out with and whom to prioritize in their life are based on a visceral assessment of whether that person will be an asset or burden.

Human experience is challenging. Each individual has a heavy load to carry. People look for people who can lighten their burden, not those who increase it.

Listening is just as important as talking.

Most people prefer to hear compliments rather than complaints.

The people are frightened by those who highlight the ugly side of life, they passively await to be entertained and fed, and they drift about as mood-diminishing storm clouds.

People gravitate towards people who are beautiful (whether it is in their appearance, style, home, or art), have new knowledge, fresh fun, and can look at the positive side of things.

The brighter side of life is valued by those with a friendly face, a lot of humor and uplifting perspective.

People give and receive in every relationship. Everyone looks for people who are a net benefit, not a cost.

If you have trouble making connections, ask yourself “What can I add to the lives of others?” Instead of asking, “Why do people not like me?”

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Odds & Ends: July 12, 2024

Odds and Ends header v3.1


A vintage metal box labeled

SABANI Portable Charger 35000mAh Power Bank. The AllTrails app has downloadable maps that I use to navigate during backpacking trips. If you are out in the wilderness for longer than a single day, you will lose your phone battery. And there is nowhere to charge it. Before our last backpacking trip in New Mexico, I purchased this power bank to solve the problem. It worked perfectly. I used it to charge both my iPhone and Apple Watch while we were on vacation. This power bank can charge your iPhone five times and comes with four cables. This charger is not allowed on planes, so it’s best to save it for outdoor trips.

After watching the movie in 2016, we recently watched it as a whole family. The Founder shows how Ray Kroc, played by Micheal Keaton, went from a struggling, middle-aged, Willy Loman-esque salesman to building an international fast food restaurant empire through doggedness, ruthless cunning, and a dose of motivational Norman-Vincent-Peal-esque self-talk. Keaton is fantastic and the best scenes are the tension-filled phone calls between Dick McDonald and Nick Offerman, McDonald’s co-founder who was played by Keaton. Recently, after watching both this film and The Social Network, I have been reflecting on my own business philosophy. It is a paraphrase from the advice George Washington gave in delivering his farewell speech: avoid entangling allies.

Mr. Brightside. You know that I am a Killers die-hard fan. The 20th anniversary is the release of HotFuss by the Killers, which contains some of their biggest hits. One of my favorite songs to use as a PR boost-up for deadlifting is “All These Things That I Have Done”. But the song that has become a cultural touchstone, “Mr. Everyone starts singing Brightside as soon as it is played at any large gathering, such a a party or stadia. What is the appeal of this song over time? Mike Hilleary credits its universal theme of betrayal in romantic relationships and its sing-along structure. Listen to the song after you’ve read the article. Destiny calls you.

John Kay, Obliquity: How to achieve our goals in an indirect way. Although I read the book more than a decade before, its ideas still resonate with me today. In Obliquity economist John Kay argues that indirect methods are more effective than straight-forward paths in achieving big, complex goals. Kay says that adaptability, experimentation and flexibility are more likely to lead to success and happiness than rigid linear strategies. This book is full of interesting ideas.

Quote of the week

He who gives good advice builds with his right hand. He who gives both good counsel and good example builds with his left hand. But he gives admonishment and a bad example and builds with only one hand.

Francis Bacon

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My New Favorite Squat

I have done the barbell squat all my life. This is a great way to build strength in the lower body. I’ve also tried other squats: the front, goblet and belt squats.

This year, I’ve started doing the Hatfield squat. It’s my favorite squat.

This exercise is great. The traditional barbell squat was uncomfortable for me because of my cranky shoulders and knees. After years of frustration, the Hatfield squat made squatting enjoyable and productive after I tried to make barbell squats work for me. Hatfield Squats are also great for increasing quad hypertrophy. This is in line with my fitness goal to get more ripped. It has been a game changer in my training.

The Hatfield squat is a great alternative to barbell squatting.

What is the Hatfield Squat? What are its benefits?

The Hatfield Squat is named after the legendary powerlifter Dr. Fred Hatfield (aka Dr. Squat). It is a variation of a back squat that uses a safety barbell, which looks like an oxyoke.

The safety squat is placed on your back when you perform the Hatfield Squat. Instead of resting your hands on the safety bar, you can place them on an extra barbell or on a set handles placed at navel height on the barbell rack. You keep your hands on the barbell rack support as you lower yourself into the squat. This helps you maintain your balance, and a straight torso.

The Hatfield squat offers some unique benefits because of its increased stability.

Excellent for quad hypertrophy. The Hatfield squat is a great tool if you want to get legs that are as large as tree trunks. The increased stability of the Hatfield squat allows you to overload quads more than with a traditional one. You can focus more on the movement and less on maintaining your balance. This allows you to add weight or reps with greater intensity.

The Hatfield squat is great for squatting with injuries. Hatfield squats have allowed me to squat heavily again, despite niggling injuries I’ve had for years.

The traditional low-bar position made my shoulder pain worse because I suffer from shoulder tendonitis caused by bench pressing. I also struggle with shoulder flexibility despite all the time I spend working to improve it. You don’t need to hold the bar in your hands when doing the Hatfield Squat because you are using a safety bar. This completely relieves your shoulders of stress.

Hatfield squats have also helped me work around a pain behind my knee that I’ve been experiencing since 2020. Pain only occurs during the descent portion of a barbell squat. I have seen an orthopedic surgeon, and had an MRI done. But the source of my pain has not been identified. I think it’s an overuse injury to a tendon. The increased stability from the Hatfield squat, however, allows me to squat heavily and below parallel with no pain behind my knee.

Hatfield squats are also helpful for people with lower back problems. They allow them to squat without aggravating their injury.

Because of the Hatfield squats’ ability to reduce pain, I have also called them “Midlife Man Squats.”

This is an excellent accessory lift to the barbell squat. Hatfield squats don’t need to completely replace the barbell squat. You can also use the Hatfield Squat to supplement your barbell program. You could perform the Hatfield Squat on deadlift day for 3 sets of 8-12 repetitions to increase work capacity and hypertrophy.

You can also use the Hatfield Squat as a way to overload train in order to gain strength and confidence when lifting heavier weights. Do 3 sets of 3 repetitions using weights that are heavier than what you would normally lift with the barbell squat.

Here is a hypothetical program for barbells that incorporates the Hatfield Squat:

Lower Body Day

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