Many men prioritize the pursuit of status, power, and autonomy, which can have its advantages in moving them towards financial security and up society’s ladder. But as my guest lays out in his book, Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men’s Success, a focus on work over relationships can also come with significant, even tragic costs.
His name is Thomas Joiner and he’s a clinical psychologist, a professor of psychology, and an investigator with the Military Suicide Research Consortium. Thomas and I begin our conversation with his work around suicide, why men commit suicide at a rate 4X higher than women, and how loneliness is a primary factor in what drives men to take their own lives. From there we talk about the problem of male loneliness in general and how it can begin in a man’s thirties and get worse as he advances through middle age. We unpack the difference between subjective and objective loneliness and how you can feel alone in a crowd, as well as be something Thomas calls “alone but oblivious.” We discuss how everyone is “spoiled” by relationships in their youth, and why men struggle more than women to learn to take the initiative in this regard later in life. We end our discussion with why therapy isn’t the right solution for many men who struggle with depression and loneliness, and how equally effective solutions can be found in simply making more of an effort to balance a focus on work and family with socializing and reaching out to others, and particularly, Thomas argues, in reconnecting with your friends from high school and college.
If reading this in an email, click the title of the post to listen to the show.
Men and suicide — unique risk factors and why men have higher rates of death by suicide How Dr. Joiner defines loneliness What does it mean to be alone but oblivious? The value of social redundancy The biological detriments of being lonely Is the feeling of loneliness rising in America?Social media’s double-edged sword How are young people spoiled when it comes to relationships?Why relationship maintenance is more valuable than new relationships Why you should reconnect with friends from high school and college Is therapy the right solution for men struggling with loneliness?What can men do start investing more in relationships today?How does this work in the age of COVID?
Resources/People/Articles Mentioned in Podcast
Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of DepressionThe Evolutionary Origins of DepressionAoM series on male depressionFinding Connection in a Lonely WorldHow exercise can help us find connectionUnderstanding the Wonderful, Frustrating Dynamic of FriendshipUnderstanding Male FriendshipsHow Solitude and Friendship Make You a Better LeaderThe Power of ConversationReclaiming ConversationHow Face-to-Face Contact Makes You Healthier and HappierFighting FOMOBe a Scrooge This Year
Connect With Dr. Joiner
Dr. Joiner’s website
Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)
Podcast #971: The 5 Factors for Crafting Simple (Read: Effective!) Messages
You want to convince your children, students and customers, whether you are a parent, teacher or business owner. In the modern world, where people are exposed to 13 hours of media per day, this is a difficult task. How can you make yourself heard in the midst of all this noise? My guest would tell me that it’s about keeping things simple.
Ben Guttmann, a marketing consultant and educator, has helped promote everything from NFL teams to New York Times bestselling authors. He is the author of Simply Put, Why Clear Messages Work–and how to Design Them. Today on the show, Ben explains the gap between how people like to receive messages and the self-sabotaging, complication-introducing ways people tend to send them. We discuss the five elements of effective marketing, which anyone can use to craft simple, powerful, and influential messages. We talk about why it’s better to focus on the benefits of something rather than the features. We also discuss how to use “and” instead of “so” in order to craft more focused messages.
Sunday Firesides: Do not confuse niceness with kindnessThing Explainer by Randall Munroe: Complicated Things in Simple Words
Ben Guttmann is on Facebook
Ben’s websiteBen at LinkedIn
Listen to the Podcast. Don’t forget to give us a review!
Listen to the episode in a separate window.
This episode is available for download.
Subscribe to the podcast using the media player you prefer.
The Transcript is Coming Soon
Podcast #971: 5 Factors to Crafting Simple (read: Effective!) Messages The post Messages first appeared on The Art of Manliness.
Did you miss our previous article…
Angel Jackets Review – Black Cafe Racer Leather Biker Jacket
Angel Jackets Review: Black Cafe Racer Leather Biker Jacket
Online shopping can be a bit like sailing through a turbulent sea. But every now and then, you come across a treasure trove that makes it all worthwhile. Angel Jackets is a paradise for jacket lovers like me.
I already own four leather jackets for men. What was my prize? My prize catch? The black café racer leather motorcycle jacket. This piece promised to not only add an extra layer to my wardrobe, but also to bring a new level of sophistication to my everyday attire. This is my Angel Jackets Review.
Easy Ordering Process
Angel Jackets’ seamless online experience set the tone from the start. The website guided me through the plethora options, but it was a black cafe racer leather motorcycle jacket that caught my attention, promising style and versatility. The ordering process went smoothly, with clear instructions and a checkout that was smoother than leather I was about touch. The PS169 price, including free shipping, was a great deal for the quality of what I received.
The four-day wait was well worth it. The package was not a simple box but a chest full of luxury that awaited to be opened. It beckoned, “Experience Luxury.” The message “Elevate Your Wardrobe with Our Premium Leather Jacket” was also inside. It set the scene for what seemed like a historic occasion. It was neatly folded, and a work of art, ready to be worn.
Black Cafe Racer Leather Biker Coat
The fit of the jacket was almost magical. It felt as if the jacket had been custom-made for me. The comfort of the 100% lambskin leather wrapped me in a whispering promise that it would age gracefully over time. The soft polyester lining of the jacket was like a loving embrace between it and its owner.
The nuances are what really set this jacket apart – the decorative padding on shoulders, which whispered stories of adventure; the four zipper pockets; and the zipper sleeve sleeves that speak the language of function with flair. The erect neckline with its smooth YKK zipper closure added a touch of sophistication.
This jacket wasn’t just a piece; it was an expression. The black color was like a blank canvas, allowing for endless combinations. The decorative seam details and the extra pockets, one of which is specifically for a smartphone
Did you miss our previous article…
Skill of the Week: Throw a Boomerang
A man’s ability to adapt to any situation is an important part of his masculinity. We’re republishing an illustrated guide from our archive every Sunday so that you can improve your manly knowledge week by week.
The process usually goes like this: You buy a boomerang in a toy shop because it sounds interesting. You can throw it in an open field. Throw it half a dozen times, only to hear it crash to the ground about 20 feet from where you are standing. Place the boomerang at the back of the closet and forget about it.
It’s easy to understand why boomerangs frustrate. It’s not intuitive like throwing a football or baseball. The key to a successful throw is the correct grip, throwing motion and evaluation of your circumstances. Make sure you are using a “returning” boomerang. Many of them are only for decoration and fly around as well as snow globes.
Ted Slampyak, Illustration
The Art of Manliness first published the Skill of the week: Throwing a Boomerang.
Tech7 days ago
The Download: tiny TikTok-style soap operas, and how algorithms change us
Tech7 days ago
Algorithms are everywhere
Grooming7 days ago
10 Powerful Male Status Symbols
Frontier Adventure7 days ago
Electrodes in Spacesuits Could Protect Astronauts from Harmful Dust on Mars
Motor7 days ago
PRAISEWORTHY PICKUPS: An Evolution From Wartime Workhorses to Modern-Day Masterpieces
Sports6 days ago
Joe Altuve Will Make $41 Million In 2024, The Most Of Any MLB Position Player
Travel7 days ago
Tips to Prevent Injuries on Active Holidays
Tech7 days ago
China’s next cultural export could be TikTok-style short soap operas