Connect with us

A story I read over a decade earlier has stayed with me. It was probably related to the Harvard Study on Adult Development, which studied a group men over their lives. However, I cannot find the reference. After retiring, a much-loved doctor was presented with a notebook of letters from patients expressing their gratitude and praise. He put the notebook in his attic and never read or opened any of the letters.

Since I first heard this story, I have often wondered what motivated the doctor to behave in that way. I also wonder why praise can make us feel good but can also make others feel uncomfortable.

Christopher Littlefield is a consultant and speaker who specializes on employee appreciation. In this episode, we try to answer the question. We first discuss the importance of recognition. Then we explore why we are so reluctant to give compliments. Finally, we look at how we can make compliments more effective. Then we discuss why receiving compliments makes you cringe. We also explore how people can deflect compliments and how that affects their relationships. Finally, we look at how to receive compliments more graciously.

Podcast Resources

Sunday Firesides: Compliment Denial is Gift DenialSunday firesides: Give them the CreamHBR article: Do Compliments Make you Cringe Sunday Firesides: Compliment Deflection Is Gift DenialSunday Firesides: Give Them the CreamHBR Article: Do Compliments Make You Cringe?

Christopher Littlefield: Connect with him

Chris on YouTubeChris in LinkedIn

Listen to the Podcast. Don’t forget to give us a review!


Apple Podcast.


Overcast.


Spotify.

Listen to the episode in a separate window.

This episode is available for download.

Subscribe to the podcast using the media player you prefer.

The Transcript is Coming Soon

Support independent publishing. Donate to The Art of Manliness! Thank you for your support!

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/skill-of-the-week-match-your-shoes-with-your-suit/

Continue Reading

Trending Stories

Sunday Firesides: But How Are You Doing on a Tuesday Morning?

While on vacation, you’re sitting on the beach and watching your kids play in the water. Everyone is smiling and full of sun. You tell yourself “I have a wonderful family here.” We’re doing okay.”

You have another thought. You recall the times you spent on family vacations as a child and how much fun you had. Your parents divorced and you and sister stopped talking. The good times spent by the sea did not foretell good times to come.

Usually, we take stock at important moments of time. Sometimes, we take stock of the state of something at a significant moment. They can also be crises or emergencies where we see how a group pulls together (or not).

You can learn a lot from these peaks and troughs. The more mundane moments of life can provide a better gauge of your health.

You and your wife may be feeling renewed excitement on your Barcelona trip, but do you feel the same on a weekday evening at work?

Your church did a great job supporting a grieving parishioner. But how many people attend regular Sunday services?

How are people doing in the midst of their everyday routines?

The little habits we have every day are what determine the course of our future. How you behave in everyday interactions can predict the future of a relationship. You can use your Tuesday morning performance as a predictor of the future.

Support independent publishing. Donate to The Art of Manliness! Thank you for your support!

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/odds-ends-july-19-2024/

Continue Reading

Trending Stories

Odds & Ends: July 19, 2024

Odds and Ends header v3.1 2


A vintage metal box labeled

The Knotty Death of the Necktie Adam Gopnik examines the decline in neckties, which began around 20 years ago. The rise of WFH due to the COVID-19 epidemic has accelerated this decline. Gopnik also uses this article as a way to reflect on the cultural significance of neckties throughout history and to explore what fashion tells us about culture in general and how we use our style to communicate our values and beliefs. Check out our article from 2021, in which we asked style experts if the necktie was obsolete.

The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishiimi and Fumitake Koga: How to Change Your Life and Achieve True Happiness. Recently, I listened to the book while walking in the morning. It was enjoyable. The authors explore Alfred Adler’s psychological theories through a fictional dialogue between a philosopher and student. The book taught me that all problems are inter-personal problems and many of these interpersonal problems result from us or others trying do other people’s life tasks.

Beulah. I discovered this band recently and enjoy listening to it on my car rides. Beulah was a regular on my 5-disc player in my 1992 Smurf blue Chevy Cavalier in 2000. Their unique indie sound includes horns, stringed instruments and a positive attitude. I love horns and strings in pop-rock. A great band to listen to in the summer.

Greyson Sweater polo from Marine Layer. Sweater polos have a moment at the moment. These shirts are a great option for smart casual summer wear. The Greyson sweater-polo by Marine Layer is a handsome addition to this category. When I wear it, I feel like Frank Sinatra at Palm Springs.

Quote of the week

Action is often the only way to save a man in danger. In order to dull emotions, a person must act; to be immobile or to stagnate, in body or mind, is to give up without conditions. Movement, any work, can help him to overcome those feelings that are a traitor to his better nature. The man in the balloon who had little else to do than sit in the middle a target was more likely to crash than the observer on an aeroplane. However, the observer’s vulnerability was greater than that of the pilot. It was harder to sit in a trench under heavy bombardment than it was to fight openly.

Lord Moran

Support independent publishing. Donate to The Art of Manliness! Thank you for your support!

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/a-field-guide-to-military-hand-signals/

Continue Reading

Trending Stories

A Field Guide to Military Hand Signals

To maintain surprise and avoid enemy detection, soldiers often operate in silence.

They still have to communicate.

How do they communicate their message without giving away their position?

Hand signals are used to communicate.

In the last century, the military developed hand signals to allow their members to communicate while in stealth mode. Hand signals are also used to communicate when the noise level is too high for the comrades’ ears to hear.

During WWII, the U.S. Army developed its first uniform hand signals. The vocabulary of the visual language grew over time. The Army was the first to develop hand signals. Other branches followed suit. The latest hand signals of the U.S. Army can be found in TC 3-21.60. Many of them are used for different situations, such as patrol, convoy management, ground-to air communication, etc.

Harrison Anderson is a former Green Beret and fellow Okie who served 12 years in the Army. He is now a retired Colonel in the Army Reserves, and he’s finishing his business studies at OU. ).

Guide to Military Hand Signals

Even if you don’t find yourself trying to sneak by Charlie in Vietnam, knowing a few military signals can be helpful for civilians.

Harrison said, “Hand signs can be useful if you need to remain quiet while hunting.”

You can also use them if you are not a hunter. For example, when you play capture the flag or paintball with your brothers, or try to avoid being discovered by a horde baby-eating Barbarians in the event of the apocalypse. They’re also cool to have.

Here are some basic military hand signals.

Numbers

The Army developed a system that allows soldiers to use only one hand when indicating numbers.

The hand signals are simple, with each number being represented by one finger. When you reach 6-9 you extend the number of fingers that you are adding to 5. For example, two fingers is 5 + 2, or 7. Closed raised fist equals zero.

Useful patrol hand signals

Slow down. Slow down.

Halt. Raise your palm forward and raise your hand to signal someone to stop.

Freeze. Make a fist instead of the usual halt signal. Freeze is a signal that tells someone not to only stop but also to remain still to avoid being detected.

Stop, Look, Listen, Smell. Put your hand open behind your ear and tell your crew that they should pay attention to the environment.

Assemble. Raise your hand vertically, palm facing up, and create a circle. This is the signal to use when you want your friends to gather around you and talk about business.

Double time. This signal will tell your crew that they need to get moving. This is a fun thing to do. You can do it by pumping your fist as if you were trying to make a trucker blow his horn.

Did you miss our previous article…
https://mansbrand.com/toscano-master-aged-4-american-italian-blend-cigar-review/

Continue Reading

Trending